Tag: Sydney

Posted in Sparks at work, WWWhat?

Party people (on a bus)

Posted on by Cate

I’m not sure about posting this as I don’t want you to think less of me. But I found this in a very innocent way, I assure you. I was looking for a design collection called Funbus and that brought me to the FunBus service offered in Sydney and Melbourne and that brought me to Butlers in the Buff – the male order company. And there I stopped.

Now, back to the Sydney and Melbourne FunBus(es). Apparently, the owners have converted Mercedes vans into an alternate universe, which can seat up to 14 people and accommodate people standing. And poledancing, if you choose to have the removable dance pole mounted in the centre of the disco floor. Some other inclusions that I just can’t fathom are: silver top bars with built in eskies and laser and LED lighting plus a smoke machine. Seriously? Laser and LED lighting and a smoke machine in the back of a van? Somebody call Shaggy and Scooby, THIS is a van.

In the ‘packages’ page on the FunBus site is the link to Butlers in the Buff. Yes, really. Apparently, whether you are looking for naked butlers to greet your guests or a discreet cocktail waiter to gently enhance the ambience of your event, a group of hunky waiters to raise the roof, or a topless butler to spice up your birthday, we have the perfect solution for any occasion. Well, any occasion except, I’m guessing, wakes after funerals or bah mitzvahs. The website provides further information on the company and its Australian franchises (yes, the Butlers are global) under the heading “The brains behind the bums”. Then there is a photo of a naked man checking on something wrapped in foil in a BBQ (fear not, he is wearing a short apron around his waist, so that should resolve any health & safety concerns).

All of the material on the website (photos and copy) is protected, so I can’t share it with you here, but you should have a look if you have any further questions. (NB, don’t be fooled – the butler in this photo is clearly not a Butler in the Buff.) Perhaps the section entitled “Using your butler” will assist with some ideas, or “Butler Outfits”, which explains the “trademark outfit” and suggests boxer shorts or trousers (for the Butlers, that is) if you’re after a more modest catering experience. Or perhaps you’re looking for some casual work – in which case, a career as a Butler or Butlerette might be just the thing.

You can check out the FunBus here and Butlers in the Buff here. Or perhaps this glimpse has already been more than enough for you!

Posted in Musical sparks, Sydney sparks, Uncategorized

Tony Bennett. Legend.

Posted on by Cate

Last night my mum and I went to see Tony Bennett at the Sydney Opera House. (Just to clarify – the pic on the left is a Billboard Grammys photo, we didn’t get that close. And he didn’t bring Lady Gaga. But I think that the photo is funny.)

I had bought the tickets for my mum’s birthday earlier this year as we love Tony Bennett and his cronies (something to do with my Grandad, our own Italian-New Yorker, I’m sure).

We last saw Tony Bennett at the Lyric Theatre at Sydney’s Casino (a truly beautiful theatre stuck in a hideously tacky venue – imagine the Kardashian wedding held in Paris’ Sacre Coeur and you’ll kinda get the feeling). So it was nice to see the now 85 year old crooner in the fabulous Concert Hall of the Opera House on a cool Sydney evening. (And if you’re not from ’round here, the tent looking things in my pic on the right aren’t market stalls but Opera Bar – best views in town.) The average age of the crowd was probably about 60 and I helped the nice couple next to us read their ticket numbers (they forgot their glasses) and the chap in front was sporting a fetching 1960s style red gingham jacket (and he wasn’t a hipster being ironic).

Tony’s daughter Antonia opened the show. Now, I don’t like to be cruel and Lord knows I can’t sing, but I do believe that if she was a gal born to a different daddy, Antonia would not be singing on the Opera House stage. Her voice is fine – sometimes sweet, but not very strong and often a little pitchy to my ears. I whispered to my mum, I hope that if Dad becomes a singer, he lets me open his show even though I can’t sing. And like a true stage mother, she replied, Well I hope you’ll wear something a lot more glamorous if that happens.

But Antonia knew we hadn’t come to see her, so she only stayed on stage for about 30 mins before the real star of the show came out. And what a star he is – performing hit after hit for over an hour and a half, without a break or a drink of water. HE IS 85. And his voice is strong – maybe just a little creaky by the end of the night, as anyone’s would be – as he hits the higher notes and brings home the powerful lyrics. HE IS 85. His band (at least from where we were sitting) all look like old timers too, but they were equally impressive.

From classics such as I Left My Heart In San Francisco to The Way You Look Tonight; from his stories about Bob Hope and Charlie Chaplin to bustin’ out some amazing dance moves that would put most men in their 20s to shame; from his genuine delight when people applaud or squeal to the incredible finale – Fly Me To The Moon. Without any microphone. HE IS 85. He said it was to test the acoustics of the Concert Hall, but I reckon it was to test the ol’ lungs and maybe show off a bit that he’s still got such talent. Whatevs, Tony Bennett – at 85 as at 25, you’re a true legend.

 

 

(This last pic has no relevance – I just took it last night and didn’t want our Bridge to feel left out of this post.)

Posted in Sparks in the wild, Sydney sparks

The Rats and Mice Show

Posted on by Cate

Every year, the Sydney Royal Easter Show is a big deal. It’s held at a huge (former Olympic) venue for a couple of weeks and bzillions of people and animals go along to experience country life – woodchopping, giant displays of fruit and vegetables, farm animals and Chiko Rolls. (If you’re not familiar with this bizarre Australian deep fried mystery, you can read more here.) There are hundreds of showbags for little kids and big kids, live music, carnival rides and all the fun of the fair.

But I’ve found a competition that I think should have top billing – I’m amazed that I never knew about it before today. I blame the marketers – too focussed on the rare breeds of alpacas and cows and dogs, instead of our smaller furry friends. The rats and mice. Yes, there is a whole competition for rodents.

Apparently, the Rat & Mouse Competition is a pet class that promotes public understanding of rats and mice within Agriculture and how we accept them in our community. Who knew that rats and mice were so misunderstood and felt so isolated in the farming community? Poor dears. For too long, they have been disregarded as pests, but really all they want is to fit in. I have images of the barn, with the ‘cool crowd’ of cows, sheep, pigs, horses and chickens chatting in the corner – then the rat and mouse come in, “Hey! Hey, guys! Over here! Yoo hoo! Guys! GUYS?” but no one will make beady eye contact.

Anyways, this competition is run by an organisation with the funniest name I’ve seen in a long time: The Australian Rodent Fanciers’ Society. Hmmmm. Bet you don’t see that listed under ‘memberships’ on many LinkedIn or online dating profiles. Sure, the name is pretty good, but it’s actually their website image that has become one of my all-time favourites. Rodents praying to a giant billboard? Sure, why not, Rodent Fanciers – it’s your Show!

Posted in Sparks in the wild, Sydney sparks

Walk on by

Posted on by Cate

I like to walk (and run, on a good day) around my neighbourhood. It’s a nice part of town, near the water and lots of trees, so there is a lot to be happy about when out and about here. But you wouldn’t know it, judging from the faces of my fellow walkers and runners. In 40 minutes, I can pass around 50 people on this well-walked path and I reckon about 3 of them will respond to my smile or greeting. (NB, this doesn’t include tourists, who are often so jet-lagged that they will say hello to a tree.) Granted, I may look a little bit like a beetroot in a hat and activewear, but surely it wouldn’t kill people to smile back and keep walking? I mean, it’s not like I ask open-ended questions as we pass, in the hopes of building a lifelong friendship. No needy cries of, “Good morning! How ’bout that Greek economy, hey?” or, “Can I just tell you a bit about Joseph Kony?” or even, “Nice day, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?” Just a smile and a sort of nod and maybe a ‘hello’ if eye contact is made.

But then I realised what I need to get conversation flowing – a dog. Size doesn’t matter, as there are little dogs and big dogs making friends on behalf of their owners everywhere I look. Whether it’s the polite, “ooohhh, isn’t she cute?” to one of those tiny designer dogs in a little corduroy vest (it’s that kind of area – I swear some of the dogs smoke pipes too) or, “wow! hello! look at you!” to a very ugly but large dog with sharp teeth (or a very ugly but large owner with sharp teeth). Dog people talking to dog people, while the dogless just walk on by – smiling goofishly into the breeze.

So, tomorrow, I’m bringing my dog with me. It should be interesting – his name is Goldie and he cost $13.95 from Ikea a few years ago. But he’s cute and furry and as long as the other dogs don’t get too close, I think it’s a foolproof plan…

Posted in Food sparks

Kids these days…

Posted on by Cate

Some highlights (or lowlights, as the case may be) of a recent survey of Australian school children were published in the Sydney Morning Herald this week. And I still think it’s funny that more than 1/4 of the kids that they surveyed in year 6 (so, around 11 or 12 years of age) thought that yoghurt grows on trees. I blame that Willy Wonka and the edible world inside his factory. He has confused our kids into thinking that you can create trees that grow all sorts of delicious sweet things, so why wouldn’t it make sense for a tree provide us with yoghurt? (Mr Wonka has also misled kids to believe that you can import orange-skinned little people from a foreign land, dress them in overalls and have them run your factory, forcing them to sing and dance on command. And work for chocolate. If only, kids!)

Anyways, I have to go now and check on my backyard crops. I’m growing meat pies, chicken flavoured chips and cherry ice cream. And any kid knows that those ice cream plants start to melt on a sunny day like today.