Posted in Food sparks

Fakin’ bacon

I am not a huge fan of bacon. I like the idea of it, and can sometimes be swept up in brunchtime euphoria and order it, only to be reminded on its arrival that I don’t actually like to eat it. Unless there is no fat and – no offence, pigs – but there always seems to be fat. Now, I have always known that I’m one of the few people (outside the vegan/vego community) who doesn’t like bacon, but until recently I didn’t know about the whole industry devoted to bacon lovers. Not just food products either – oh no, there are accessories, scented stationery and a whole heap of other crazy bacon-inspired things…

For only $5, you can buy these bacon flavoured toothpicks. Whether you are inspired by Joel Madden or some other cool dude who chews away on a ‘pick, apparently “if you love bacon, you won’t be able to live without these scrumptious, bacon flavored toothpicks!” EverydaySparks is here to save your life, bacon fan. Even though I think they sound like a crazy idea, I do like the tin that houses the 80 toothpicks – Sir Oinkery Porkinson, with his monocle and cane. But with no shoes to cover his trotters (I mean hooves).

Then there is this bacon wallet. Which is not really made of bacon, but of faux leather. For that little bit of Lady Gaga in all of us, without the worry of being followed around by all of the neighbourhood dogs.

Or maybe you feel like your bacon fix is limited to the kitchen and you really want to bring your love of bacon to your bathroom. No, not bacon scented air freshener (although I am sure you can get it somewhere), but bacon soap, toothpaste and dental floss. Uh huh.

If you or someone you know is a fan of fakin’ bacon, you can check out the whole category of stuff for sale at Fred Flare here.

(They also have bacon salt, popcorn and – two products that almost made me cry – bacon flavoured chocolate and a bacon & choc-chip pancake mix. Oh, the horror.)

Posted in Arty sparks, Food sparks

Carving up incr(edible) art.

Chef Jimmy Zhang is a genius. The founder of Art Chef Inc. graduated from the Culinary Arts Institute in China in 1989 and it’s fair to say he’s slightly obsessed with the ancient art of fruit and vegetable carving. After winning many championship titles in fruit carving competitions in China, in the late ’90s, Jimmy took his show on the road and brought his talents to California.

You can choose from private classes with Jimmy (by yourself, or with a group of knife wielding mates), a special intensive week-long course, or a general public course. Dinner parties and school lunch boxes will never be the same again as you learn how to carve up your own fruit and vegies at home.

There are different levels of classes and, to be honest, I expected the Level 1 class to maybe feature some of those apple spirals that are really tricky to cut (without using a machine). Or maybe a star cut into a potato. But no, this bouquet of flowers in a melon bowl is apparently what you can do in the Level 1 class. Uh huh.

The pics from the Level 2 class move to the animal kingdom, featuring a lot of birds and fish (and an incredible giant bloom in half a watermelon). Interestingly, the seahorses seem to be made of a fruit or vegetable that looks very much like cookies & cream icecream, which is something I’ve always dreamed of, but never managed to find. Hats off to you, Chef Jimmy!

And then there are the Level 3 classes, which, quite frankly, make the other classes look as though children had been mucking around on a primary school excursion. The slightly scary bright orange bird on a branch is surely made from the world’s largest carrot. And then there’s the intricately carved dragon. They should really just call the Level 3 classes the ShowOff classes and be done with it. Incredible stuff.

If you are inspired to start hacking into your own groceries, or if you’d like an awesome display for your next family dinner or client function, you might want to have a look at the amazing website of Art Chef Inc for more ideas. Bon appetit!

Posted in Food sparks

Guten tag, McBurger

I work with a very nice German lass called Kristina. One day, we were in the kitchen talking about McDonald’s (as you do) and Kristina was raving about how much better McDonald’s is in Germany. I noted the existence of something called the ‘McOz’ burger (I think it’s the addition of beetroot that the marketers think makes it an authentic Australian burger) and expected Kristina to admit defeat. But, nein – Kristina laughed heartily and began to tell me all about German McDonald’s, a magical place where you can drink beer with your meal (presumably not with Happy Meals)…

German McDonald’s recently held a competition for the general public to name some new burgers on the menu. The winner was the new McPanther burger, on a cheese & onion bread roll, with mozzarella, beef, bacon & smokey tomato sauce. No panther, it turns out, just traditional beef. Laws for deceptive & misleading advertising mustn’t be quite as tight in ol’ Deutschland.

Then there is the fantastically named Crockstahzumjot. Kristina said there was no translation for this word, which is fine by me. But then I googled it – turns out that before it was a rockin’ burger, Crockstahzumjot was a rockin’ band. Their 2012 tour is called Hip Teens Wear Tight Jeans. Uh huh. The burger itself is pretty fancy – crispy chicken and bacon on ciabatta bread. Ciabatta bread, if you don’t mind! According to the website, this burger will be available later this month, from what I can gather with my limited German skills.

Then there is another great name – the Lauginator. Sounds like the Terminator only tastier, with cured ham and Italian grana pardano cheese. The bun, you ask? Why, it’s made of pretzel bread. That’s right, your burger is nestled onto a bun that is really A GIANT PRETZEL. Genius. Sadly, this came last in the public vote and its creator, Bastian K, will never see his dream become reality.

Then there is the McHaudegen, which came fourth in the public vote – sesame roll, three layers of beef, honey mustard sauce and bacon. I think it got lots of votes because the photo on the website shows its inventor, Sven G, standing behind the burger. And Sven is a big guy, covered in tattoos.

Then there is McOerms, which will also be available at the end of this month – it’s a spicy little number, featuring (according to my trusty translator Kristina), “jalapenos, chorizo, beef, curry chilli sauce, beef”. It seems there is no translation for ‘oerms’ either, but the combination of ingredients makes me think it is possibly either ‘yuck’ or ‘ouch’.

In addition to the wacky competition and the occasional theme-menu options (Mexican, Asian etc) that Kristina assures me are big deals, German McDonald’s has a McWrap with prawns, a McRib with marinated pork ribs and a Veggieburger on the standard menu. Crikey.

Ich bin am ende! (That’s “I give up!” in German. I think.)

Posted in Food sparks, Home sparks

The Cult of Nespresso

Mostly, I blame George Clooney – that slick advertising campaign, the giant photo of his beautiful face in the Nespresso store. I also blame the designers – the pretty and clever machines, the gorgeous coloured pods of coffee. And I blame the friends at work that took me into the store and whispered about the life-changing impact of these coffee makers and the world of Nespresso. You’ll never buy another cup of coffee again. Even the decaf tastes nice. Look how easy it is, you poor simple. Here, try a sample of the coffee. And I was hooked.

I think I am a bit late in jumping on this particular bandwagon, but I can be easily influenced when it comes to gadgets. I love them and never stop admiring the clever design and engineering (probably to the point of being a wee bit annoying). And now that I’m part of the cult of Nespresso, I appreciate my little Pixie every time I make a cup of coffee. She is a stunning bright indigo colour, which was another thing that sucked me in. And the milk frother (which I like to think looks sort of like a glossy black beehive) is separate so as not to take up too much precious bench space.

Water here, coffee pod there, pull the lever and the aromatic energy boost is dripping into your cup. Quicker than you can make a cup of instant coffee, surely. Now, I am not trying to pass myself off as a sophisticated barista, or even someone who can recognise the difference between floral and refreshing or fruity and balanced. I like coffee, but am definitely not a connoisseur. (Just as I love wine, but am not a connisseur. When it comes to chocolate however, I am surely a world-leading aficionado.)

Anyways, this cult has its own secret language (which would sound even more romantic if you imagine it whispered by George Clooney): intenso, lungo, vivalto, finezzo, arpeggio. People speak in code, “I’m an 8, my husband’s a 6” – not in terms of attractiveness, I discovered, but in terms of coffee strength (how the cult classifies the different capsules). And you can only get your fix (of coffee capsules) from the Nespresso dealer (online or in ’boutique’). They produce a newsletter that looks like the coffee maker equivalent of Vogue and regularly sell out their limited edition special flavours, with some people hoarding them to re-sell at an extortionate price on ebay. I confess to having recently sold a kidney to buy some limited edition ranges on ebay (no longer on sale in the boutique) – Cherry; Almond; Vanilla Blossom; and Dark Chocolate (to keep world-leading aficionado status).

The capsules (or as we cult members know them, hermetically sealed capsules – by hermits?) are made of aluminium and Nespresso have organised a recycling program (they call it Ecolaboration). Or, you could always turn them into brightly coloured metallic bugs, like this upcycled collection from Switzerland-based artist Alex Aebi (thanks buzzaurus.com).

It could be your subtle sign to visitors that they are entering a home that belongs to the cult of Nespresso. But I’m sure they’ll already know, when you answer the door all a-jitter, saying “Vivalto! Fortissio Lungo!” (cult speak for “Welcome! Come in!”) and introduce your children, Roma Espresso, Decaffeinato and Ristretto. Then it might just be time for an intervention and some herbal tea.

Posted in Food sparks, WWWhat?

Konnichiwa, teeny burgers!

I think I would fit in well in Japan. From the fashion to the technology to the kitschy toys to answering the phone with ‘moshi moshi’ – so much about it seems to be my kind of kooky. Then I remember that I am one of those uncool weirdos who doesn’t actually like sushi or sashimi, so maybe I wouldn’t be such a good fit after all. And then I see a product like this and think: honey, I’m home.

The perfect gift, the perfect cooking class, the perfect snack – all in one little brightly coloured box from the good people at Kracie. It’s from their Happy Kitchen range, which also offers donut, cupcake and cookie kits. But this one is special – teeny tiny burgers (including cheese and ketchup), fries and cola. Apparently, it tastes “just like the real thing”, but with only 96 calories… Our friends at Jbox suggest that you ‘pick up a few sets and start your own hamburger stand at the next school festival or birthday party’, though after looking into it, I reckon you’d need to import a few thousand cases if you’re catering for more than two of your closest pals.

You really need to watch the You Tube clip to get the full Happy Kitchen experience – there’s no celebrity chef, no annoying background music, just the crinkle and snap of the Happy Kitchen hamburger kit coming to life before your very eyes.

Whether you love the kookiness of Happy Kitchen or you’re just the laziest cook in town, buy up big from Jbox and host your own teeny tiny McDinner parties!