Category: Sparky gifts

Posted in Sparky gifts, WWWhat?

Wild and woolly

Posted on by Cate

When I first saw this photo, I was curious. Why is a guy dressed like Santa asleep against a tree, with a snake crawling over him? And what kind of product is this actually trying to sell? But the clever marketing ploy worked and I clicked through to find out more. I’m still not sure what to make of it. I don’t live in a particularly cold climate, so maybe this scarf is actually a really good idea and I just can’t see it. (Now that I know it definitely is a scarf, and not some sort of snake.)

The design is based on the story of Rip Van Winkle – a story that I probably should know, but am afraid that I do not. Something about a man falling asleep for 100 years, but I’m not sure who he was or why he did it or what the message for kids would be (get enough rest?) so I hope you are better informed than I am.

Anyways, this scarf beard is knitted with a wool/acrylic blend yarn and changes colours from black to grey to oatmeal to white. I take it that Rip Van Winkle wasn’t a particularly colourful chap. The designer claims that it can be worn at full length or wrapped around the neck for extra warmth. Um, I don’t mean to be picky, but this scarf beard IS 8.5 METERES LONG. I am not sure how you could wear that at full length, but if you do, please don’t catch a train. Or ride a bike. Or go through one of those revolving doors. Or get in an elevator. Look, if you are wearing the scarf beard at full length, best you just stay at home, weirdo.

The designer says this is a great gift “for the man who has everything or for the lady who complains of a cold face.” And presumably a great gift for people who like the challenge of carrying woollen tyres around their necks. If you know someone who fits any of those categories, you should check out Alexa’s shop on etsy.

Posted in Arty sparks, Sparks in the wild, Sparky gifts, WWWhat?

Doggone

Posted on by Cate

If you’ve read my post Walk on By, then you’ll know that I don’t have a problem with fake dogs. In fact, my Ikea dog Goldie is one of my best mates. Which may say more about me and my life than it does about Goldie, but I’ll save that analysis for another time. Anyways, I think that fake animals are great and there should be more of them – whether you’re after fake company, fake walking pals, or fake protectors to guard your home, fake it up, I say.

Which is why I was delighted to find a very talented fake animal maker (NB, that’s not her official job title) on the etsy website. Excited at the thought of adding to my fake pet collection and providing a fake pal for Goldie, I thought these amazing, life-like dogs were too good to be true. I could put these two out as guard dogs and they would definitely keep the possums away. And if I wire up an MP3 player with a growling dog soundtrack on repeat play, then seeya, annoying neighbourhood kids! My mind started to wander, full of possibilities for these “I can’t believe it’s not butter” canine equivalents. Perfect looking and no maintenance – surely the recipe for any great relationship… I would call them Snowy and Snowi and we would go on walks, relax in the sun, read the Saturday paper and generally pal around like an episode of Lassie. (Or Neighbours, before the untimely end of dear old Bouncer.)

And the product title on etsy specifically says LARGE Size Pet Sculpture. Yes, with large written in capital letters, wouldn’t you think that would mean life-size pups and all of the good times I dreamed of in the above paragraph? Well, hold your LARGE horses, people. Contain your shock as you look at this next photo. And see why my vision for a life with Snowy and Snowi vanished in an instant.

If you are more forgiving than me, other LARGE size pet sculptures are made by FeltedFuzzies.

Posted in Arty sparks, Sparky gifts

Brainiac

Posted on by Cate

This Jumping Brain is one of a series designed by Emilio Garcia at the “secret Lapo laboratories”, wherever they are. And they might be secret, but presumably they’re paved with gold – an extra large Jumping Brain costs 1500 euros. But imagine how handy one could be…

When you’re in a meeting and Sucky Suckinson is trying to impress the boss with a jargon-filled speech, the brain jumps across the table as a very subtle sign that he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. Or when the 12 year old boy running the McDonald’s drive-thru gives you the wrong order, ol’ Brainy could jump up to the window as a reminder to stop chatting up the chick making the sundaes and actually serve the customer. Or at extended family gatherings, the brain could sit in the middle of the table as a warning to Great Uncle Charlie and Second Cousin Babs – no one wants to hear dumbhead rants about how much better things were in the olden days. Or if you see a Kardashian or a Snooki or pretty much any reality tv star…

Honestly, think of all the people you’ve met and discounted as idiots – and if you’ve worked in the corporate world in particular, I’m tipping you’ve met plenty – or the people that you suspect are either off their heads or heavily medicated when you speak with them. Maybe, just maybe – like a weird twist on old Pavlov’s dogs – when the Jumping Brain appears, everyone in the room gets a little bit smarter. If so, 1500 euros is looking like a great investment!

Check out Emilio Garcia’s brain(s) here.

Posted in Sparky gifts, WWWhat?

On fire

Posted on by Cate

I like fire. Not in a call-the-police, lock-up-your-matches kind of way, but I do like being around fireplaces, especially in winter. The problem is that I live in an apartment, so any fire here is probably not going to be a relaxing, toasting marshmallows kind of affair. More like a mad dash to grab the photos, grab the icecream-maker, grab some chocolate and run. So I was excited to see these bizarre looking fire bowls on Fab.com – they’re made by Lumacast and they cost around $3,000 for a 32 inch ‘fire wok’. I like the idea of carrying the bowl over to the dining table to scare guests who think that you’ve overdone the Masterchef flambe and burnt their dinner, but apparently these handcrafted concrete bowls are meant for patio use only. Though since my balcony isn’t gigantic and already features one gas-powered fire machine (which also cooks delicious food), I think this will have to wait til I’m grown up and living in my dream house. With a hi-tech sprinkler system installed, just in case.

Posted in Sparky gifts, WWWhat?

Uh oh, baby

Posted on by Cate

Another day, another gift idea from an online craft website. This time, my favourite Australian handmade site, Madeit. There are so many gems tucked away throughout the site, just waiting to be discovered by someone typing in the right search word. In this case, the right search word was SALE. And that was where I found this baby, dressed lovingly in exotic-looking handmade doll’s pyjamas. AND WALKING ALONG A FENCE. The pjs are from Grandma’s Goodies, though this photo makes me suspect that Grandma is a bit of a baddie and should perhaps not be allowed to babysit the grandchildren on her own. Grandma says the pjs are ‘nice and warm flannelette’ (doll comfort is important) and they feature lined lapels & collar and a velcro closure on the front. But none of this will matter if that little foot on the fence slips and Baby Alive is no more…

If you’d like to give Grandma the benefit of the doubt and check out her stuff, she’s Grandma Bear.